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Interpersonal Violence: Intimate Partner Violence

This Guide contains a variety of resources meant to help people better recognize interpersonal violence when it is happening, and how to find help out of these types of situations.

Recognizing The Behavior

 

The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love

link to transcript and additional resources.
 

10 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Do you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship. Check this list from One Love to see if the signs are there.
 

Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

Sometimes it's hard to see the realities of an unhealthy situation the closer you are to it. Scarletteen provides some useful advice for removing your "blinders."

Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships

Sometimes it is hard to understand why people stay in abusive relationships. This article from Love Is Respect helps provide perspective on why.
 

Drugs, Alcohol and Abuse

If you are an abusive relationship, drugs and alcohol can make an unhealthy situation worse. This link lists some risk factors to be aware of.
 

Can an Abusive Partner Change?

Questions to help you figure out if an abusive partner has changed.
 

Is This Abuse?

Sometimes it's hard to identify different kinds of abuse. This article will help you better understand abusive behavior in all it's forms.
 

Relationship Trouble

Is it Your Partner or Your Mental Health Condition? Here’s How to Know The Difference

Community Specific Resources

Trans-Specific Power and Control Tactics

An easy to read information chart about Trans-Specific Power and Control Tactics
 

Relationship Abuse among LGBTQIA* Communities

One Love provides advice for dealing with abuse to members of the LGBTQIA+ community. 

Understanding Sexual Violence in Muslim Communities

A useful reference chart for Muslim to better understand what sexual violence can look like with in their community.

Safety Planning

A College Student's Guide to Safety Planning 

Love is Respect offers tips for creating a safety plan to leave an abusive relationship.
 

Get Help For Yourself Safety Planning

How to get help when creating a safety plan to leave an abusive relationship.
 

What If I Live with My Abusive Partner?

Living with an abusive partner adds an extra level of difficulty when you are trying to leave them. Love is Respect offers tips you can use when you are trying to leave an abusive partner that you live with.
 

I Have Children with My Abuser

More information from Love is Respect for people looking to leave an abuser they have children with.
 
"Whether you’re a parent or not, abusive relationships are based on power and control. When there are kids involved though, the abusive partner may use them to hurt you."
 

The Scarleteen Safety Plan

Safety plan resources from Heather Corinnna, Jacob Mirzaian, Sam Wall, and redskies at Scarleteen

Types Of Abuse

 

What is Financial Abuse? 

Unsure what financial abuse looks like? Love is Respect will help you identify it.  
 

5 Ways to Tell If Someone Is Cyber Stalking You

 

Stalking Response Tips

Tips on how to stay safe if you suspect you are a victim of stalking. 
 

What is Financial Abuse? These Are the Signs…

"When we talk about relationship abuse, we typically focus on physical and emotional mistreatment. But financial abuse or the control of one’s ability to acquire, use and maintain money by an intimate partner occurs in up to 99 percent of domestic violence cases." Onelove Writer's Corps Member Adrianna Nine

 

What is Physical Abuse?

An info sheet for identifying physical abuse with in a relationship.

 

What is Sexual Abuse?

This info sheet provides an over view of what sexual abuse looks like and ways you can do to stop it.

 

4 Things You Should Know About Reproductive Coercion

"Reproductive coercion is a form of domestic violence where behavior concerning reproductive health is used to maintain power, control, and domination within a relationship." Onelove Writer's Corps Member Karina Sumano
 

Reproductive Coercion: An intimate partner violence you might be overlooking

This article offers a comprehensive explanation of what reproductive coercion is. 

 

How To Tell If You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

"Knowing how to recognize emotionally abusive behavior is the first step to empowering yourself (and others!) should you ever find yourself in this situation. We want you to understand that these behaviors are not healthy, so we’ve put together the stages and signs of an emotionally abusive relationship." Onelove.org

 

What Emotional Abuse Really Means

"Even if relationship never gets physically abusive, emotional abuse can escalate over time with devastating consequences, even death. And while emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, physical abuse in relationships is nearly always preceded and accompanied by emotional abuse." Onelove Writer's Corps Member Emily DeSanctis

 

What is Emotional/Verbal Abuse?

An info sheet to help identify how emotional and verbal abuse present.

 

11 Common Patterns of Verbal Abuse

This Onelove.org article by Jade Anna Hughes draws attention to the patterns verbal abuse can take.

 

You’re Not ‘Oversensitive’ – Here’s How People Use Gaslighting to Dismiss Sexism

Transcript for above video.

 

What is Gaslighting?

"This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home. When his wife points it out, he denies that the light changed. Gaslighting is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim’s ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship." National Domestic Violence Hotline

 

10 Things I’ve Learned About Gaslighting As An Abuse Tactic

"Gaslighting is the attempt of one person to overwrite another person’s reality.There’s a good chance that you now know more about gaslighting than most therapists. And that is really unfortunate, because if you have experienced gaslighting, it’s going to be really hard to untangle it yourself. Unfortunately, you may have to, and I want to tell you that you are not alone. Let me share my experience. Here are ten things I wish I’d known at the beginning. Let’s do this together." Shea Emma Fett
 

6 Unexpected Ways I’ve Healed From Gaslighting Abuse and Learned to Trust Myself Again

Being Gaslit makes you question yourself at every turn. This article provides insights on healing and learning to trust yourself again.

 

Recognizing Gaslighting

"Gaslighting Is a Common Victim-Blaming Abuse Tactic – Here Are 4 Ways to Recognize It in Your Life" Everydayfeminism.com

 

7 Signs of Gaslighting

This resource will help you recognize some of the common gaslighting red flags.

 

What I Wish I Had Known About Gaslighting Before It Happened To Me

A first person account of being gaslit by a partner.

 

Mindfulness: The Surprising Skill You Can Use to Stop Gaslighting

Tips on how to use mindfulness techniques to help decrease gaslightings effectiveness.  

 

What is Digital Abuse?

An info sheet the defines digital abuse so it can be better recognized. 
 

Texting and Sexting Is This Abuse?

Information to help you recognize if texting and sexting has crossed the line into abuse.
 

Supporting Youth Survivors of Cyber Abuse

An info sheet offering tips on how to support youth survivors of cyber abuse.
 

Non-Consensual Sharing of Intimate Images

This toolkit provides info on the options people have if they find out some one has shard intimate pictures of them without their consent.
 

Cyber Safety Plan

This toolkit offers advice, guidelines and important contact info that can all be used to form a personal cyber safety plan.
 

How to Spot the Signs of Abusive Texts & Get Help

"With texting and social media, it’s easier than ever to stay connected to the people in our lives. But just as sweet messages and kiss emojis can be imparted via text, so to can harassment and manipulation. This is sometimes referred to as textual abuse, a form of dating violence that happens almost exclusively via text and involves excessive and sometimes threatening messages. While this form of abuse is dangerous, it’s seldom recognized as such since abusive partners will deploy manipulation techniques in the form of playful banter and light-hearted statements to achieve their goals, whether it be to find out your location or keep you in constant communication with them. Behind the kiss emojis and humorous façade, these messages are always fueled by their need to control and even dominate their partner. And despite texts and social media DM’s being pixels on a screen, the impact of these messages can be devastating." Onelove Writer's Corps Member Adrianna Nine
 

6 Things to Consider Before Sending Nudes

This article offers a variety of things to consider before sending intimate pictures.

 

What is Stalking?

This info sheet helps identify behavior that is considered stalking, and provides steps you can take if you are being stalked.

Coping and Healing

A Perfect Match: Finding the Right Counselor 

Finding a counselor can be overwhelming when you are dealing with trauma. This guide highlights things to take into consideration, and questions to ask when you are looking to work with a mental health professional.
 

Journaling Tips for Survivors of Abuse and Trauma 

This article explains how journaling can be an effective part of the recovery process for survivors of Abuse and Trauma.
 

Dating After Abuse

Dating after being in an abusive relationship is hard. This guide offers advice on how to tell if you are ready, and ways to proceed if you are.
 

6 Truths Toward Radical Self Love After Intimate Partner Violence

"Recovery from any form of assault can be a painstaking process, but we need to talk about the process of self love after you’ve become intimate and vulnerable with someone, and they return your love with violence." Maya Gittelman

Help a Friend who is in an Abusive Relationship

Get Help For Someone Else

This article offers advice to those who want to help friends currently in abusive relationships.
 

Questions to Ask Your Friend if You Are Worried About Their Relationship

If you are worried a friend may be in an abusive relationship but aren't sure this article offers a starting point with questions you can ask your friend and asses their situation with.
 

Helping a Friend in an Abusive Relationship

A fact sheet offering steps you can take to help a friend in an abusive relationship.
 

I’ve Shared My Concerns About My Friend’s Unhealthy Relationship…Now What?

Onelove.org shares some advice on what the next steps are after you voice concerns about a friends relationship.

Resources for People Who Have Caused Harm

Get Help For Yourself Can I Stop Being Abusive?

How to get help changing your own abusive behavior.
 

Childhood Trauma is No Excuse for Abusive Behavior

Things you can do if you recognize your childhood trauma may be manifesting as abusive behavior in your current relationship.
 

Some Ways to Stop Being Violent

This article offers advice on how to stop violent behavior you have recognized in yourself.